Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Vampires Can Be More Than a Laughing Matter


Here is a tongue-in-cheek article I have written recently for Ezine Articles. Please add your comments about it.

"If it is dark, don't go outside unless you see lots of lights. If it is windy these blood sucking creatures love to glide through the wind; this also helps them gather speed where they can float up out of sight above the lights.

You know a lot of these vampires take on human form as well as more grotesque shapes to really scare the pants off you. I live up in the mountains where it is pitch black at night and I would not venture one foot outside the house. I've often heard a "swooshing" sound and that aint bird noises - more like "vampires of the night."

It has often be said that vampires live amongst us and we don't even know they are sitting right next to us. Apparently if they are close by, they drain all your energy and you begin to feel lifeless. This is a danger sign so move out of their space before you have no space at all.

What can they do to you? Ha! I am glad you asked. Beside the usual Dracula stuff of sucking blood with their sharp fangs, they will 'attach' part of themselves to your body and you won't feel a thing except you 'feel' you are being controlled by them. You won't see them around you but you will be doing horrible things to upset those folk around you - and you know what? You will be asking yourself "Why did I do that?" It won't make sense to you and meantime, Grandma is bawling her eyes out and Grandpa is looking sternly at you.

When these horrible creatures attach part of themselves to you, they can control most of your thoughts and therefore your actions. Haven't you ever wondered why you did certain things which were totally alien to you? That chatter, that incessant chatter that goes on in your mind all day and sometimes drives you wild--you think it is you, it aint. It's that 'orrible creature trying to take control of your life.

Don't believe it? Ha! You know a bit of truth when your see it, even your dog knows the truth when he barks and there is nothing there, he can sense this vampire creatures' vibrations.

You know that Michael Jackson died recently at a very young age of 50, he was possessed by not one vampire but many vampires. Have a look what he did to himself and others' around him. Sure, he had talent, and great talent that was too, few entertainers ever came near to his ability on stage. You can say it was really magic stuff. His life in later years was totally possessed by these evil creatures and I guess he often asked himself "Why did I do that?" (like hanging his baby over the balcony)

Vampires do aim for high profile people, the famous, the infamous, the baddies (as they are easy meat) and also those high on drugs or alcohol. Inevitably drug addicts have a short life span, also to a slightly lesser extent, alcoholics. Perhaps you do not believe this? Well, have a look at the statistics and you will discover there is some truth in this.

Okay, so how does one get rid of these unloved vampire creatures especially if you know you have one or two attached? As you may not know, everything in this physical universe has a certain vibration, you do, your dog does, your koi fish do -and guess what? Even your house. Take a look, or should I say 'feel' ?

Ever been at a party and some new person walks in and you think "gosh, I don't like him!" Know why? His vibrations, and also the space around him. He collapses people's space nearby. You know what I mean by that? Some people have NO space at all and they go right up to you, one inch from your nose and you begin to feel uncomfortable - they are collapsing your space, intentionally. They are controlled by one or more vampires.

So how do we start? The first thing you should do (gradually please) is gain the ability to hold your space. Pretend you are in a large invisible box and it has eight corners, you are in the middle of this box with several feet all around you. With this box all around you, you 'hold' all the eight corners including those behind you. Whilst you are doing this concentrate only on the eight corners. Those thoughts that come into your mind will eventually cease - but only after a little practice. Vampires do not like this at all…they like less space, not more. Try it, and get rid of those darn vampires!

Visit http://www.familyfuncartoons.com for my kid-friendly site - and more humor.

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